Over 1,000 new stepfamilies are created each day. Millions of U.S. families are either remarried or re-coupled, leaving countless children in the care of a stepparent. Being a stepparent can be one of the most rewarding things you will ever experience, and your positive impact can help your stepchild in countless ways. As most stepparents will tell you, however, there are many difficult adjustments that both the parent and child must go through. Often, stepparents have a hard time understanding their stepchild and how to connect with them. They may become frustrated when their expectations of a perfect blended family do not immediately come to pass.
The following is a list of tips and pointers that will guide you towards building a positive relationship with your stepchild:
- Watch out for unrealistic expectations: Many stepparents believe their new family will instantly bond and form a perfect union. However, the stresses of previous marriages, custody battles, finances, and adjustments to a new living situation often create a different reality. Take small steps towards building your stepparent relationship and do not expect too much, too soon.
- Encourage openness: Stepchild are often going through much change and mixed emotions. It is helpful to ensure them they can express their emotions, fears, and insecurities to you.
- Be supportive: Never seek to replace your stepchild’s relationship with their other parent. Rather, support a strong relationship with all parents.
- Partner with your spouse: During this time of transition, you and your spouse should be in constant, open communication concerning the family. Support each other and make joint decisions. Make sure the children know you are a united front and strong partnership.
- Leave discipline to the other parent: In the early days of becoming a stepparent, it is best to allow the parent to do the disciplining. Before you can become a disciplinarian, you must earn your stepchild’s trust and give them an opportunity to get to know you better. This does not mean you should never discipline. Rather, start the process slowly. Begin by getting involved in family rule-making, but allow the other parent to enforce rule-breaking.
- Maintain a sense of humor: Particularily if there are teens in the house, you must maintain a positive attitude and sense of humor. Recognize that trying times will occur, and you will move past them as a new family. Try to have fun with your stepchildren. Play games, take a special trip, or simply head to the movies.
- Don’t turn your stepchildren into scapegoats: While stepchildren can be challenging, be sure not to blame them for problems in the family or your relationship.
- Be persistent: The process of becoming a true family will not happen overnight. Do not get discouraged by small hiccups, and know that the time and effort you put into your relationship with your stepchildren will be well worth it in the long run.
Adopting your stepchild can be a wonderful way to establish a legal bond. Stepparent adoptions are relatively simple and can be completed in as little as 45 days. While not right for every family, stepparent adoption may allow you to truly complete your family.
McDowell Chartered: Assisting Stepparent Adoptions Throughout Kansas
The compassionate Kansas Family Law Attorneys of McDowell Chartered have devoted decades to bringing families together. At McDowell Chartered, we believe a healthy step-parent, step-child relationship is of critical importance to building your family. As such, we have helped countless stepparents successfully adopt their stepchildren, uniting them in a perfect bond. Call us today at (316) 633-4322 to schedule your free consultation.