For prospective adoptive parents, few moments are as nerve wracking as that first conversation with your potential birth mother. Whether you meet in person or talk over the phone, knowing ahead of time what questions you wish to ask, and which you want to avoid, will reduce anxiety and allow you to obtain the most information. It is also important to remember that the pregnant woman considering putting her child up for adoption is also likely stressed and afraid. Approaching the meeting or phone call with a mutual understanding of each other’s feelings will help it to proceed as smoothly as possible.
The following list of questions is aimed at helping you prepare for that first conversation with your potential birth mother. As always, it is best to consult with a licensed adoption attorney in advance of your interview as he or she can ensure you ask the right questions. Your attorney, or adoption agency, can also participate in the meeting and ask those sensitive questions that must be broached.
These questions can be asked by you, at that initial meeting:
- When is the baby due?
- How has your pregnancy been so far?
- Tell me about yourself.
- When did you begin to consider adoption?
- How do you feel about your decision?
- Are you working with an attorney or agency?
- How does the birth father feel about the pregnancy? How does he feel about the adoption?
- How do your parents feel about the pregnancy and adoption?
- How are you feeling?
- What are your life plans after the baby is born?
- What are your interests?
- Do you know anyone who has placed their child up for adoption? Do you know anyone who was adopted?
- Do you have any special requests concerning how you want your child to be raised?
- What kind of relationship do you envision having after your baby is born?
- Is there anything more you want to know about me?
- Where would you like to go from here?
The following questions should be asked, but should not be raised in the initial meeting, or at least not by you. Your adoption attorney or adoption agency worker can request this information.
- Why are you placing your baby up for adoption?
- Have you ever placed a child for adoption before?
- Have you used drugs or alcohol during your pregnancy?
- Do you smoke?
- Who is the father?
- Does he agree with the adoption plan?
- Do you think either of you will change your mind between now and the placement of your baby?
By asking the right questions, and having them asked by the right source, you can move your relationship forward with the birth mother at a rapid pace. The best approach to birth mother meetings is to defer sensitive questions to the end of the conversation, and allow them to be asked by your attorney. With these tips in mind, you should be able to confidently progress your domestic adoption.
McDowell Chartered: Kansas Adoption Attorneys Assisting in Your Domestic Adoption
The Kansas Adoption Law Attorneys at McDowell Chartered have decades of experience assisting families in domestic adoptions. We can assist clients who have already made arrangements for a private adoption, or help our clients locate a potential child. No matter the type of adoption arrangement you seek, our experienced adoption attorneys can help you create the family you desire. For decades, our skilled attorney team has provided quality legal services to families throughout Kansas, simplifying and expediting the adoption process. Call us today at (316) 633-4322 for an initial consultation.