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Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Parents: Issues and Concerns, Part I

Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Parents: Issues and Concerns, Part I
January 5, 2014 James Greenier

When it comes to gay and lesbian adoptive parents, it is imperative that society is able to openly discuss social issues and concerns that are unique to their circumstances. Many notions have been created and established as a result of cultural stereotypes and misperceptions, which is why there is a need to address such opinions and attitudes so that social workers are in a better position to assess their own personal biases to make informed decisions about gay and lesbian adoptive families. In turn, prospective gay and lesbian adoptive parents can receive the necessary support they need to succeed.

“What is Sexual Orientation?” Sexuality is generally known to include four components: biological sex, gender identity, social sex, and sexual orientation. The American Psychological Association distinguishes sexual orientation, by characterizing it as an attraction to individuals of a particular gender based on a lasting sexual, romantic, affectionate, or emotional attraction. Sexual orientation is perceived as different from sexual behavior referring to innate feelings and self-perception, rather than expressed through behavior.

It is commonly believed that sexual orientation manifests in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. However, understanding the root of sexual orientation rests on the side you take of the nature or nurture debate. There are several theories that suggest genetic or inborn hormonal factors are the cause, while other theories claim that sexuality is determined by the influences of early childhood life experiences. For the most part, many suspect there may be more than one factor at play in shaping sexual orientation at an early age, resulting from a combination of biological, psychological and social factors.

“Will Children of Gay or Lesbian Parents Be Teased or Harassed?” We have all either witnessed or read about the challenges that many children of gay men and lesbians face on a daily basis.  As a result, not surprisingly, many become vulnerable to harassment, bullying, and teasing, especially when approaching adolescence, and any potential for difference is grounds for such treatment and exclusion. Unfortunately, more than many people realize, this problem has tremendous negative psychological effects and is likely to cause long-term damage.

Many gay and lesbian parents have dealt with various prejudices their entire lives, and are well aware of the challenges a child of their own may face.  Instead of perceiving themselves as victims, many gay and lesbian parents see it as an opportunity for positive growth and self-examination that will encourage their children to develop tolerance and empathy for people.  However, many courts take a different attitude about such circumstances. In many custody cases involving gay or lesbian parents, once a court considers that a child might be teased due to the sexual orientation of their parent(s), this may outweigh all other factors and be determined as contrary to the child’s best interests. It is often argued that a child’s self-esteem will be damaged by the potential challenges faced and stigma attached to having a gay or lesbian parent.  Despite this being the case, the logic and outcome has been refuted in many studies. Research has in fact shown that although children of gays and lesbian parents have reported negative experiences with others because of their parent(s) sexual orientation, their self-worth is no less or equal to children whose parents are heterosexual.

The above questions/issues are complex subjects that a gay or lesbian parent should address with their adopted child a number of times throughout the various phases of growth and maturing.  On each occasion new topics and information can be discussed as the child develops greater awareness and is able to comprehend more.

If you are a prospective adoptive parent and have questions or concerns regarding child adoption, call McDowell Chartered legal services at 316-269-0746 for more information. Our staff of experienced Kansas adoption attorneys can assist you with all aspects of the adoption process!